I so miss them

(Guest post by an anonymous contributor.)

I saw Carey Marx at the comedy thingy a few weeks back in Auckland.

He was funny. He made me laugh.

“I can always tell when the woman I’m fucking is about to….die. She usually stops struggling.”

“The sign said ‘keep off the grass’. Someone said ‘hey! Can’t you read the sign?’ I said, ‘yes, I can. I’m already on the grass. You need a sign that says ‘get off the grass'”

Those were funny.

But by and large it was a derivative review of Richard Pryor and George Carlin’s almost-best-ofs.

And man how I miss Richard Pryor and George Carlin.

They died so close together.

I miss them more than my own grandparents – and not just cause they were slightly funnier.  (Seriously my grandparents were funny).

Pryor was the king. He stood on stage and talked, for ages, about what a bad person he was. And he talked about race.

“I shot my car, jack. Then the vodka in me said ‘yeah you shoot motherfucker one more time.'”

“I am tired of the police coming to MY house to put MY ass in jail. Cops don’t shoot cars. They shoot niggARS.”

“You go down to the courthouse looking for justice, that’s what you gonna find. Just us.”

“Cocaine make you think some crazy shit. ‘Ok, darling. You stand on the top of this building and I’ll run around it. On the third pass, I want you to jump on my face.’ I have a witness!”

“You get in an argument with a white guy and he says ‘hey man fuck you’ and you say ‘no fuck you’ and then he says ‘nigger!’ and you think ‘shit, I ain’t a man no more.’ I hope they give that shit up.”

Carlin was more absurdist and grew out of the so-called counter-culture.

Carlin did the seven things you can’t say on television.  (Marx did the 10 things you can’t say in stand-up comedy).

Google Jerry Seinfeld’s obit of George Carlin.

“Look at the two men who ran this war: Dick Cheney and Colon Powell: someone got fucked in the ass!”

“Anorexia. Another all American disease. Rich cunt don’t want to eat? Fuck her. What do I give a fuck. ‘I don’t wanna eat!’ Fine. Go fuck yourself”.

“Rape can be funny. Imagine if Mickey Mouse was raping Donald Duck.” (Marx did a bit on rape).

Marx also sounded a bit too much like Lenny Bruce.

Bruce was Jewish. So is Marx.

Bruce was famous for de-contextualising the word “nigger”.

Pryor stopped saying “nigger” after he went to Africa.

Nigger was the number one on Marx’s list of 10 things you can’t say in stand up.

Bruce made the point — a point I agree with — that nigger is a word. Say it lots of times fast.  It sounds weird and loses meaning.

Then again, I’m an anti-semiotist.

Marx made the same point about the word cunt: cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

All art is derivative. Nothing is being done for the first time. I don’t profess to be an iconoclast comic.

However, the stakes seem low these days.

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